Answer: A Doctor makes an analysis of a appalling illness whereas a Local Government Ombudsman makes you ill with a appalling analysis!
Q: What's the problem with jokes about Local Government Ombudsmen? A: Local Government Ombudsmen don't think they are funny whilst other people don't think they are jokes.
Arguing with a Local Government Ombudsman is like mud wrestling with a pig: after a while you realize that the pig actually enjoys it.
Council Chief Executive responding to a Local Government Ombudsman, 'If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you'.
I'd like to see things from a Local Government Ombudsman's point of view but I can't get my head that far up a chief executive officer's arse.
A Local Government Ombudsman is about as useful as a windscreen wiper on a goat's arse.
Judging by the old saying, "What you don't know can't hurt you," makes a Local Government Ombudsman practically invulnerable.
The Local Government Ombudsman promises to keep an open mind. The only problem is that everything goes straight through.
We all spring from apes but Local Government Ombudsmen didn't spring far enough.